Making Time for the Life You're Trying to Build
Managing Time for the Things We Have To Do, Want To Do, and Love Doing
Most conversations about time management start in the wrong place.
They start with calendars, planners, apps, color-coded schedules, and productivity tricks. Good tools, bullshit advice.
Time management isn’t really about managing time.
Nobody manages time.
Time keeps moving whether we’re organized or not. Surprise!
What we actually manage is our attention, our energy, and our priorities.
I like to think of life as having three buckets.
Things We Have To Do
These are our responsibilities. And this list can get pretty long.
* Work
* Bills
* Laundry
* Doctor appointments
* Household tasks
These are the things that keep life functioning.
Ignore them long enough, and they tend to come back with interest.
The challenge is that this bucket can quietly expand until it takes over everything else because we give artificial urgency and priority. Stop that!
Things We Want To Do
These are our interests, ambitions, and personal shit.
* Learning a skill
* Reading books
* Taking a class
* Traveling
* Starting a project
The problem is that most of these things aren’t urgent.
And that’s exactly why they get postponed. Shifted. Rescheduled. Et cetera.
Ironically, many of the activities that improve our lives never demand our attention. They simply reward it over time. Identify them and make them a priority with urgency.
Things We Love Doing
This bucket is different. That happiness you’re wishing for, lives here.
These are the things that make you forget time exists.
* Fishing
* Painting
* Playing music
* Gardening
* Building things
* Spending meaningful time with people you care about
These activities don’t consume energy.
They give some back. Recharge us. Reboot our systems to we can get through the to-dos.
And yet they’re often the first things we sacrifice when life gets busy. Too complicated.
Here’s the trap
Many people spend almost all their time in the “have to” bucket, a little time in the “want to” bucket, and keep promising themselves they’ll eventually get around to the “love to” bucket.
The word eventually feels comforting.
It sounds like a plan. Something to look forward to with anticipation. And that feels good enough.
Most of the time, it isn’t.
A better question than How do I manage my time? is:
Does my calendar life reflect what I say matters most?
Because calendars tell the truth.
We say family matters.
We say health matters.
We say creativity matters.
Then we look at our schedule and discover we’ve given nearly every available hour to obligations.
No judgment. Most of us do it. You’re reading this and I hope it’s in your “want to” bucket.
But awareness is where change begins.
One practical approach is to make room for all three buckets.
Not equally. Life rarely works that way. But intentionally.
Maybe it looks something like this:
* Have To: 70%
* Want To: 20%
* Love To: 10%
The percentages will change depending on your season of life.
The goal isn’t perfect balance.
The goal is making sure none of the buckets stay empty for too long. And the percentages shift from time to time (pun intended).
Something interesting happens when we consistently make room for what we love.
The things we have to do often become easier.
We have more energy. More patience. More creativity.
And less resentment.
Life stops feeling like an endless list of obligations and starts feeling more like a life we actually like participating in.
Maybe the real challenge isn’t finding more time.
Maybe it’s protecting some of the time we already have.
Because at the end of a year — or a decade — we rarely wish we’d spent more time answering emails.
We remember the conversations.
The adventures.
The hobbies.
The people.
The moments that made us lose track of time.
So here’s a question worth sitting with:
If someone looked at your calendar life from the last 30 days, what would they conclude you love?
And would you agree with them?
It’s about prioritising what you value most and what brings fulfilment, purpose and meaning to life. I’ve simplified my life which decreases the have to’s and leaves me time for want to’s and love to’s.
Fantastic post, Chad! And that final question. That is the time study we should all be considering. I’m going to do it tomorrow and see what it says. Seems like a great way to move into June. Just a little over half the year left…wonder what the back half of the year will say about my priorities.